Martin Shkreli, Leave Kanye Alone

There were approximately 14 prior iterations of the title of this blog post. Most of them involved the F bomb. Because Martin Shkreli is the worst.

Shkreli is the pharmaceutical dirtbag who took a life-saving drug and raised the price approximately 5,555% (that’s a comma, not a period), and also the music-fan dirtbag who spent 2 million dollars on the only copy of a Wu Tang Clan album. Finally, he is the dirtbag who is currently under house arrest for allegedly committing securities fraud.

As if he wasn’t terrible enough, Shkreli is at it again, being a jerk of the highest order.

Many of us were eagerly awaiting the release of The Life of Pablo, Kanye West‘s new album, scheduled for February 11th. But we did not get said album. Why not? Because Martin Life-Ruiner Shkreli has offered Kanye TEN MILLION DOLLARS to be the album’s sole owner.

Letter from Shkreli's Twitter account

Letter from Shkreli’s Twitter account

Kanye, you can reach him through Twitter DM! Because that’s where all the professional business is done these days.

Another tweet from Shkreli explains that the board of Kanye’s label is legally required to review this offer, which should delay The Life of Pablo‘s release by a few days. I have no idea if this is true, but I do know that we didn’t get an album on the 11th.

Aside from the absolute ludicrousness of this idea, here’s the part that really gets me:

“Instead of releasing this product for your millions of fans, I ask you to sell this recording solely to me.”

What an arrogant statement. “I, Martin Shkreli, am asking you to deprive millions of people of your music because I want to be the only one to have it.” What kind of person can even make deranged statements like this and still look themselves in the eye? I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that this is coming from someone who is also willing to deprive people of medical treatment that will save their lives, yet here I am, angrily writing a blog post at midnight.

College Dropout inspired Shkreli to succeed at a young age! (To become a white collar criminal?) Therefore this album should be his and his alone! Forget about anyone else who might have been inspired by Kanye’s work, or anyone who just loves rap music, or anyone who wants to see what an unpredictable creative mind might have up his sleeve.

I wouldn’t think Shkreli was serious if he hadn’t already spent 2 million to keep the Wu Tang album to himself. Maybe it’s all just a terrible publicity stunt (for what, his live stream where you can watch him under house arrest?), but he seems like the kind of selfish person who legitimately would want to spend exorbitant amounts of money to own something that millions of people want, just so no one else could have it.

You know who Martin Shkreli reminds me of?

Only he’s real. And he doesn’t have a catchy song.

I imagine this debacle will blow over in a few days and us Yeezy fans will get our album. Bonus if there’s some kind of hilariously angry response from Kanye. Double bonus if Shkreli follows Veruca Salt’s path down the garbage chute. To be determined!


One thought on “Martin Shkreli, Leave Kanye Alone

  1. Pingback: Live Journaling “The Life of Pablo” | Not My Forte

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